Behind Closed Doors

“Behind Closed Doors” tells the story of infidelity from a woman’s perspective. Her blend of ecstatic imagery and repellent imagery, “Black filth under my nails/ from scratching your back,” paints an honest scene. It is an act owned by the man and the woman, a woman who possesses herself. She is not anyone’s property, “You walk my city/ with the freedom of a sure foot/ inch and inch of sacred land.” … Read the full intro about the “What It Is” poetry series on sexuality and womanhood here.


 BEHIND CLOSED DOORS 

You walk my city
With the freedom of sure feet
Which touch inch and inch of sacred land
Aware of the pleasure induced
Aware that this is a trespass.
 
My body is a curving case of crystals
With each fondle, the crystals rub and ignite sparks
Your fingers
Trace the valley along my waist
They climb the rise of my hips
And my spirit is aroused.
And I am filled with lust.
 
Black filth under my nails
From scratching your back
When your thrusts deepen
When long breaths
Searching for air
Dissolve into moans instead
 

Is this a triumph of love
Or trouser and blouse
On the floor
Next to our promise
To be chaste?
 
I plead in naked speak
Bearing my guilt,
To an enigma
Who should not make this possible
 
‘make this stop’
‘Make me strong’
 
The bliss does not stop
I will not stop


This is dizzying
This whirlwind of pleasure, prayers, regrets
 
I am stilled by salty waters
Running off your brow
As you rise and fall
Arms on either side of my breasts.
 
”Never live in yesterday’s regrets
Tomorrow, you can forget this”
You whisper into my neck.
   
 

Daphine Arinda

Arinda Daphine is a writer, performance poet and lawyer who uses art as a tool for social transformation.

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